Sparkling Lotus-land

record keeping

It's always interesting to keep track of the ways my written journal reflects its cover.  Usually I have something specific in mind when making a book selection.  This time I was thinking about moving forward and the ways this process enables us to go through passageways and portals - of time, experience and conscious growth.

This morning I realized how much of what I've been writing relates to acknowledging doors I've deliberately shut.  Some have been sealed for a long time and now I must retrace my steps in order to open them once more.  Some I ignored; as if they didn't exist and the choices they contained weren't mine to make.  A few didn't interest me enough to notice their existence.  Some doors belonged to other people and I could only stand on the outside pushing envelopes through the letter slot - metaphorically or otherwise.

The journal pictured above is relatively new but my general writing methodology is very well established.  The process reminds me of keeping a garden.  Over time I've found many parallels between various journal volumes and individual, always unique, growing seasons.  Advance planning frequently reaches a tipping point where organic life force asserts itself; trumping construction and blurring the edges of specific intentions...

yesterday: busy outside

as opposed to today: lurking in pajamas.  Am currently feeling like this shell full of elecampane fluff

the rain is accentuating all variety of aches & pains but at least it's not too cold.  And I'm really not of a mind to complain because I've managed to have a productive and creatively satisfying week.   Today isn't a crash so much as it's a logical conclusion.  Even in extreme snail mode I've done some laundry and changed the bed linens.  Anything else will be gravy.*

Here's yesterday's close up view of the Angelica gigas  The deep cranberry red of its leaves and stems is a real treat.  As the plant matures the top of the leaves mottle brown and very dark green.  The underside veining and the stems retain a deep red coloration.  I remain thrilled this one has successfully winter-over in a pot.  It was dug from the ground in a rather quick and dirty maneuver that it clearly didn't appreciate.  But apparently now all has been forgiven.

Here's one of its A. archangelica cousins growing by leaps and bounds.  I took this picture mid-morning.  By dusk the plant was noticeably bigger.   Not the difference between a bungalow and the empire state building sort of bigger but definitely with the makings of a new farmer's porch on the side of the bungalow.

Here's the main bed.  It hasn't been tidied yet.  Yesterday I focused on the main garden path that leads to the front of the house.  I also picked up some trash and spent time admiring the miniature jonquil that are blooming along the edges of the secondary path.

*  Huh.  at a certain point I intended to publish this post but apparently forgot to take it out of draft mode first.  Then I spent a ponderous forty five minutes cleaning out the over-sized catch-all drawer in my desk.  Do you know how long it's been since I did that?   No.  No, you really don't want to know.  But that's one example of the day's 'gravy' that gives me a sense of ongoing accomplishment ...

...plenty of ideas...

This week seems to be passing at lightning speed.  Yesterday was such gorgeous weather that I made a point of soaking it in as much as I possibly could.  Today was a bit of a rude awakening - "spring" by only the most new england of definitions for the season.  Despite the raw edge to the chilly dampness I did take a late morning walk over to the creek.  Have been hearing the rush of the water there and wanted to get a bit closer to Source in that particular form.

While I was there I heard quite a few woodpeckers.  Also saw two dozing hawks in trees on opposite sides of the water.  Would like to have walked around to the far side of the creek but I knew my leg and back would not appreciate me hitting my internal over-ride switch.  So I was sensible unless you count the cookies I ate when I got back home!

Last night I had a detailed and seemingly endless dream that we had moved to an old Federal farmhouse with an atrium just off the kitchen.  It held some enormous blueberry bushes full of ripe fruit.   I woke up with a sense of longing for the bushes.  Since then, amidst & around household chores and business related tasks, I've been working on a variety of visual journal pages and my ongoing project of organizing ALL my creative raw materials.  Have decided the effort is a multi-dimensional form of autobiography building.  More on that later once my thoughts have gelled a bit more cohesively. 

The flower pictures in this post are from a scented (lemon balm) pelargonium I brought home mainly because it was loaded with flower heads.  Now that several of them have opened I've become quietly enthralled with their energy.  I also brought home a silver leaf rose companion.  Now I need to select a container that can comfortably hold them both over the coming months.

Have learned through varied experiences that these plants grow a lot bigger and faster if they're planted directly in the ground but I have not been able to figure out where I might have room for them within the crammed-full garden beds.   Have also learned that pelargoniums grow quite well in containers - just not as quickly or dramatically as they grow in the ground.  Would LOVE to visit the parts of Africa where they grow as perennial hedges!

What can you "do" with these plants besides love them for their gentle presence?  Throughout the growing season I pick and dry the leaves for inclusion in drawer sachets, hair rinses and dreams pillows.  I also like to add some of the sharply spiced varieties to homemade bay rum.  A handful of leaves in the brewing jar is quite a nice variation on the standard recipe.  For that purpose I especially like a nutmeg variety or clove. 

If you would be interested in reading more about the wonderful varieties of this aromatic plant, you might visit this link.  It's a nursery catalog containing lots of info about this particular plant species.   At the top of the page you can click on the variation type (e.g. floral, fruit, rose, etc.) that's most appealing.  Here's an informative article, with lovely photographs, from Fine Gardening magazine.  And this is an absolutely wonderful book on the subject.

I've been growing at least a few varieties every year since my early twenties.  Another favorite use for the leaves is as the scenting agent for homemade dusting powder.*  Simply fill a wide-mouthed glass container with alternating layers of corn starch and fresh leaves.  Shake on a daily basis for a few weeks - or longer if you tend to forget about shaking the jar.  This is a really nice refresher for the skin (and psyche) on super hot summer days and evenings.

Note:  make sure the leaves are perfectly dry before using.   When you have sifted the spent leaves from the cornstarch, you can re-layer with a new batch of freshly harvested leaves for a stronger scent. 

A classic use for rose scented varieties involves layering fresh leaves with sugar.  This makes a wonderful sweetening agent for hot tea - especially in mid-winter.  Combine a handful of dried leaves from your favorite variety with some dried lemon verbena for a luxurious revivifying soak in the tub or a foot bath.

*  My all time hands-down favorite homemade powder combines honeysuckle flowers, rose petals and some clove buds as the scenting agents.

P.S.  sorry I am lagging behind on my emails right now.  Your patience, as always, is deeply appreciated.

woke up, got outta bed ...

The amazingly cold weather hasn't stopped my exotic grove from putting on a bit of a show for the first day of the year.  As I type I'm half swooning from the scent of arabian jasmine.  There's a whole new flush of hot pink allamanda flowers and, of course, the fully opened amaryllis is quietly commanding an unavoidable focal point.

If you read my other blog then you know I'm currently immersed in studying the color purple with a special sketchbook/journal dedicated to my efforts.  Have been wanting to post on this blog about an interesting phenomenon I experienced at the very beginning of this project but I also wanted to wait until the process formed some kind of logical conclusion.  I feel like the progression completed itself today so here goes.

When I first brought the color purple front and center in my mind, I noticed I was strongly pulled towards some associations that weren't very pleasant - an ongoing psychic awareness of mottled purple bruising, melancholia, more unbidden images of bruising patterns and let's get a bit of extra foam on that sense of profound melancholy* shall we?

This shadowy preoccupation lasted for about 48 hours.  Then I moved forward with associations I might have expected from myself - eggplants, a variety of flowers, radicchio, a particularly favorite party dress I had in kindergarten as well as a handful of established esoteric correspondences.  While I was describing the earlier interlude (and how relieved I was once it shifted) in my writing journal something very significant occurred to me.

In flower essence healing work (of course this is not just true of essence work but that is the context where I'm most familiar with what I'm about to articulate) there are times when a particularly-needed remedy will evoke an array of responses that are experienced in ways that are most often termed unpleasant or flat-out unwanted.  This is most generally known as a Healing Crisis - although various ultra new agey types often lobby for terminology that's less upsetting. 

In my variety of experiences the period of disturbance/crisis generally lasts from 48 to 72 hours.  The actual degree of difficulty that's felt is directly relational to (a) how much energy an individual puts into resisting an eruption of what might be termed psychic or emotional negativity when their stated aim is feel better/good, and, (b) how long the individual has consciously and deliberately repressed depth-charged emotions, thoughts and physical sensations that need to be experienced and released in the name of ultimate balance and organic homeostasis.

 Can you see where I'm going with this?  It's now my belief that I experienced a purple-based healing crisis.   It seems to make all the sense in the world that something like this could - and in fact when necessary should - occur but it's something I hadn't previously considered and haven't heard discussed among my colleagues.

For a long while now I have kept notes on colors that certain personalities avoid or claim to hate; have also kept tabs on what sorts of people gravitate to bright colors as well as those who shun them.  Out in the larger arena of "life" there are any number of social and cultural footnotes on what's at stake/what it therefore means to like or avoid any given color but for years I have tried to push through that and look at people rather than tape loops.

Now I am expanding my interest in color associations so that my awareness can include a deeper look at color-based experience that fits the definition of a healing crisis.  If there are any blog readers who would like to discuss this with me please do get in touch.  As always privacy is of paramount importance to me; whatever is shared isn't going to be re-packaged here online or much of anywhere else.  I'm simply curious and would welcome input.

Violet is the color associated with the crown chakra and so I thought a culmination of my purple-awareness would probably embody some type of elevated and trans-personal consciousness.  Have been in that space for much of the day and that seems like a lovely and appropriate way to welcome a new calendar year into be-ing.

There is still a lot for me to explore about this color and how it alters its form through different ratios of combined red and blue.  I wonder where I'll be in the sense of larger development and what will be going on for those I love and in the larger world once this little sketchbook is completely filled ...

* A few days after Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast I prepared an essence blend of giant red mustard and lavender flowers.   This was co-created on a local hilltop where I kept a flower garden that was specifically "built" for essence preparation and other forms of co-creative experimentation.  Since then this blend has been a very powerful and dependable ally for me whenever I'm feeling depressed or sensing empathic impingement from somebody else's depression.  I started working with the combo during my purple based disturbance - feeling it no coincidence that lavender flowers are a lovely blue-violet color and that yellow (the color of mustard flowers) is violet's natural compliment.  

in between

It's been another rainy day and as I write this post a very spooky indigo twilight is starting to descend.  Earlier today I took some photos for my purple sketchbook project.  I thought it was a challenging time of year to find purple examples in my every day life but today I was greatly taken with raindrops collecting on the flowering kale next door.   Also interrupted some cooking prep:

 

I wasn't chopping shallots on antique china doll plates and hand dyed wool.  That was simply something I arranged once I realized I was dealing with another Purple Thing.

 

This kind of pre/occupation is becoming a very enjoyable part of the days as they unwind and melt together.   Another pleasant quadrant has been the in-depth discussions that are evolving among those in my first and inner second circle.  Plus I've been managing to make good/healing use of my alone time.  As some readers are aware this particular calendar week holds three rock 'em sock 'em very disturbing anniversary dates for me.  But flashbacks and emotional overwhelm have been not-so-terrible.  Of course that's not the same thing as saying certain moments haven't sucked in a major way.  But it's not the same thing as teetering on the verge of drowning in those moments, either.

 

Once I make this posting I'll be heading offline for a bit of full moon illumination and reflection.  This one's in gemini so there's a good chance our inner landscape will be quite chatty with itself and, also, prone to dallying in some extra aspects of duality.  All of which adds a whole new dimension of tricksterish meaning to the concept of scattering seeds.  There are a number of other relevant influences making themselves known in the As Above So Below department.  You might like to click here if that kind of thing interests you.

I'll be back at the end of the weekend or sometimes on Monday.  Travel wisely as well as gently ...

the midnight hour & beyond

Have mentioned before that my son shares my insomniac tendencies...for the past few nights he's been out & about taking photographs and then editing them as the clock creeps into the early morning hours.  Although we're both often frustrated to find ourselves unable to sleep, his current project is a lot of vicarious fun for me.  For the past two nights I've been up when he's come home.  The creative energy buzzing around him is quite potent and I really enjoy the snippets of experience he chooses to share.  Also like looking at the pictures once he's reviewed them and started editing.  It's fun to hear details of the experimentation involved and feel the energy looping back through me.

Last night I really liked the picture he took of our yard and adjacent house.  He highlighted the birdbath with a flashlight during the long exposure.  I like the implication that the birds' energy is so vibrant that the area stays illuminated even at night.  It's also fun (and instructive) to see the daily landscape from someone else's eyes.  While he was working on his photography project, I completed a couple of samples for my studio journal.  This was a very satisfying way of focusing my mind.  Then I read for awhile. Finally there was sleep and now a whole new day

This is the center of a Tropicana rose that's living on my desk.  The first flower on the plant bloomed very low to the ground in a shaded, secret location.  This is the third rosebush to begin its flowering in a sort of stealth mode.  Seems like a theme and so I'll be doing some automatic writing on the subject over the next week or so.

Trysomic stocks are a big favorite of mine for their delicate appearance, soft pink-to-violet-to-magenta color range, and lovely spicy-clove scent.  They also make beautiful cut flowers, especially for a bedside bouquet.  This is the first time I've grown these quiet beauties in a number of years.  I planted them in the northernmost bed and a container along the front walkway so that we could enjoy the scent while relaxing on the screen porch.

Clusterhead pinks are also blooming.  The colonies were started from seed during the second year of the garden's life.  They are a nice choice for an "easy" garden because they are care free and not at all prone to disease.   The little (half inch) flowers open on 1.5 to 2 foot stems; as their name suggests, they bloom in little groups two or three at a time.  The length of the stems gives the flowers a bit of a disembodied look.  They appear to be zooming all over the place under their own steam - tiny hot pink constellations showering blessings on other nearby plants.  Their scent is sweet with a hint of spice.

Valerian is also in bloom although not quite as prolifically as usual.  I suspect this has a lot to do with the fact that I didn't have an opportunity to thin the patch where they grow.  Valerian is often considered an undesirable plant because it self-seeds so prolifically.  And, of course, if the plants are too densely packed they will not produce as many flowers.  On the upside, this means there will be fewer seedlings to thin.  The cats "help" with this project in the fall because they love to dig up the roots.  While the pretty white valerian flowers have a sweet cherry pie-like scent the roots smell fairly rank to the human nose.  Cats, however, really enjoy it.  So the roots can be placed in pillows that are intended as kitty dreaming thrones.  Put them in an out of the spot where your cats enjoy lurking so the smell is not as overpowering to human family members.

Since we have not yet gotten the predicted rain I was able to start harvesting calendula flowers.  These two were so pretty that I propped them up with some thread spools and took their picture.  Jim's running errands right now and I asked him to bring me a gallon of olive oil.  It's arrival will give me a chance to harvest some lemon balm for a cold oil infusion.  Am also harvesting spearmint to dry for teas; maybe if I get super ambitious I can harvest enough to start a hot infusion of comfrey and spearmint leaves in the crock pot...

odds & zen

Last night Jim and I watched Death at a Funeral.  It was just light *and* dark enough to be the perfect choice for two people who are experiencing one of The Longest Weeks Ever.  We laughed a lot and that was indeed a very good thing.  This morning I woke up with a kind of absolute awareness concerning my body's healing needs.  It's the first time in about a month that I've engaged in yoga practice.  Things went well mainly because I listened to my body super-carefully and didn't push the edges of things past the point of useful returns.  In the past I have often gone to a place of discontent and/or self-criticism when I couldn't manage what my brain defines as a proper (meaning 'worthy of mention') pose sequence.  This morning I felt nothing but gratitude and that's a worthwhile 'practice' in and of itself!



Last Sunday I gathered some pinecones from the edges of the main garden bed.  I wanted to practice drawing them and, also, I was interested in seeing what kind of prints they'd make in my nature journal.



Am currently creating some pages devoted to seed pods.  I was hopeful that the cones would print in a way that would make a good background pattern.  My mind's eye envisioned mounting a few pencil sketches of some favorite seed pods on top of the printed areas.



I think it will work well just as I pictured it in my mind's eye.  I also think the pencil sketches will make a nice contrast to the stylized images that I photocopied from a deck of lunar divination cards by Caroline Smith and John Astrop.  I adore the deck's artwork and thought it would be fun to keep copies of the relevant images in my journal.  You can see more examples of the artwork from this deck right here.

While I was in the yard I also collected one of the spruce tips that came down in the weekend's intense winds.  My idea was to print it with a paint that would mirror the light orbs I've observed in this tree. 





I made the print in what is probably the first of many Tree sections in this journal.   I plan to draw directly on this page, and use the opposite page for a photograph of some rainbow light-beings dancing in the tree.  This project is becoming quite fulfilling now that I've stopped thinking so much about what I think it is "supposed" to be.  The process already knows what it wants and needs; I've just needed to understand that and then get out of the way.



I'll also be including a drawing I made last week  - working from the model of a hawk feather brother Doug gifted to Jim over the holidays.



You can see from the image below that I worked a bit larger than life scale and also improvised a bit with the color range.  This is the way the feather spoke its be-ing to me as I was studying it.  Have included these two images as a special shout-out to Laney :)

Thanks, once again, to those readers who have been doing a little bit of this and another little bit of that as a way of helping me get my groove back.  All efforts are greatly appreciated and I find myself experiencing some renewed faith & hope in our species' collective spirit of generosity.