Couldn't resist that title to accompany some closeups from the work table. I did spend a couple of hours today "forming attachments" and it was extremely satisfying. Finished my January BJP page and also got a bit of work done on the TIF collage/wall organizer. Tons of other stuff was also accomplished, plus it was a bright, sunny day. Sorry this isn't much of an entry; I may not be around online much for the next few days. It's nothing to worry about, just the usual juggling act... 
I am in awe of people who can fit everything they need to stitch into something the size of an Altoids tin. Hell. I'm in awe of the ladies whose backseats and trunks are outfitted with wall-to-wall plastic containers full of various projects-in-the-works and extra craft/stitching supplies. I'm in awe and frankly unworthy of anyone who develops ANY kind of organizational system - who makes it a point to have it reflect their relationship to their supplies and projects at hand. To me, that's squaring the circle of creative manifestation.
I have a purple plastic container that I call the other sewing box. Other as opposed to roughly half a dozen sewing boxes that are an even mix of plastic shoe boxes, children's craft supply boxes and decorative cookie tins. They are all sort of interchangeable in my mind because I do know what's in them (more or less ...) but there's always the dangerous lure of getting distracted. And flat out overwhelmed if in a very pleasant way.
Am trying to stay on task today so I didn't start pawing through these things and dreaming. Just found what I was looking for and continued with my morning. The goal is to deal with the top biz and domestic related priorities until lunchtime and then give myself an afternoon of stitching. It's very gray weather today and surprisingly warmish. My original plan was to hit a vegetable store as it's been far too long since I made a hearty soup from scratch. But I didn't think I should be on the road that long or on the particular road I'd need to travel to the store of strongest choice. So I simplified the errands. I've found when I need to do this, it's helpful to construct a secondary list - things to be accomplished IF later circumstance and physical energy flow allow. In this case, I'm wondering if Jim would be up for making it a mutual excursion this evening. Hmmmm...
Mainly it would be nice to formalize that plan and then relax at a deeper level. My body is unfortunately still tense from recent pain onslaught. Everyone knows by now that quilting and other handwork lowers your blood pressure as well as your stress reflexes. Have been finding out a lot about that healing property recently. It is very nourishing to consider the afternoon plans I've made - no plan but to stitch in a series of small individual tasks that all yield a large result at the visual level.
I remembered the large mint green bead in this shared trove and as the time came to see if it would be well-placed on the TIF wall organizer, I re-discovered a few other things as well. Yes, especially the black bead with white stripes ...
Today we're having our first snowfall. It's nothing major but it did bring with it that lovely blanket of silence that's my favorite part of a snowy day. Spent my standing meditation watching the birds. Then I took advantage of a ride to a bead store over in Webster. Decided a little while ago that I was going to go there at some point in order to purchase two specific beads for next month's BJP page. While I could have replicated the same general idea in some other way, I have a few symbolic & psychological reasons for wishing to have the image ready-made.
These beads represent (1) the devil you know and (2) the devil you don't. Not quite what the mainstream culture likes to associate with the month of December but I know that giving myself license to work with this particular motif will do me a [largely untold] world of healing good. I have been clear on this for about two weeks so attaining the beads has featured prominently in my I should really litany. Unfortunately I've had some neurological issues that preclude getting behind the wheel of a car. So I've wondered just how much of a major production it was going to be to get this particular mission accomplished. Now I can relax. I won't have to obsess on the beads anymore or think about the general design issues until it's actually December.*
Incidentally, I am still slow-poking my way through accumulated emails and notice a few from folks who wonder why I haven't been blogging about my creative sewing projects. Please note in the sidebar that I now have a separate blog for my handworking adventures. Have had it for a few months now so if you haven't been following along, there's plenty to look at over there.
This afternoon holds some pleasant excitement for me. It's the first chance I've had to go to creativi-tea in a month. Am really looking forward to the socializing aspects as well as the opportunity to see what others are sewing. Have been literally counting the minutes until it's time to leave; my sewing basket's been ready for the last several hours! Also, when I first began writing this post, I noticed a beautiful red bellied woodpecker going to town on the suet feeder. And on my way out to meet friends for the ride the bead store, I saw a pair of northern flickers on the silver maple tree.
Inclement weather often brings the more reclusive woodpeckers to my yard. It's usually a lot more inclement when they arrive but perhaps this first bit of snow caught them offguard. Did not actively plan to have this post illustrate the dichotomy of angels and devils but perhaps it can be considered a nod to the song lyrics I linked last week on my other blog. Thanks, btw for all the cool leopard links and info that's been arriving in email.
*I haven't done a lot of planning ahead with the BJP pages. The only other time I chose a focus bead before the month actually started was back in August when I was certain I wanted to highlight the cloisonne hummingbird. I'm as clear now as I was then regarding the ultimate applicability of the beads in question. Those readers who share similar Survivor issues will surely understand what I'm saying, and not ...
One of the stress-relieving goals I maintained throughout October related to to-do lists and how nutty they can make me. I decided to give myself a month where I didn't make them and see what kind of difference that made to both my stress level and the rate of productivity I was able to maintain. The practice evoked MUCH less stress and there was no discernible difference in my level of output. What was very different, however, was the quality of enjoyment I experienced - probably because I was more thoroughly engaged in whatever I was doing rather than constantly thinking ahead to the list and what still remained undone.
Recall that I replaced the to-do list habit with [relatively] prompt follow-through on thoughts that began with the phrase I should really.
This worked especially well with domestic chores and matters here in
this workroom. I've decided to keep going without a to-do list and
further decided to devote special attention to the string of I should really's that didn't get manifested during October.
One such item relates to my preferred beading trays. Many years ago, I took a beading class through the Brookline adult education center. The teacher recommended that we avoided spending lots of unnecessary money on fancy beading accessories. She felt the most effective beading tray was an upturned lid from a recycled ricotta cheese container. It had a lip but no extra grooves in which the beads could get stuck. Over time I discovered that certain other recycled lids held similar properties e.g. the old sherbet lid pictured above.
A few weeks ago one of my local stitching buddies gifted me with a special beading mat. I quickly learned two things. Predictably enough, Celeste thought it was meant to be hers. And, even when the cat wasn't lounging on it, I felt awkward beading on the mat. I really liked the way it held the beads so they clung to the mat but I didn't like the rectangular shape of the mat and how big it was. I had a tendency to place it very carefully to one side (and away from the cat ...) and then commence working on whatever I was beading. All the while I'd be thinking I should really cut the mat into circles that fit inside these plastic lids.
As you can see above, I finally stopped beading long enough to get the job done. That's a recycled ricotta lid. While the glue was drying, I put the beads it had contained on the inside lid of a tin I use for my extra special beads. I briefly contemplated covered the inside of a tin or two instead of the plastic lids. But that would mean I'd have to forsake my fondness for decorating the inside of the tins with stickers and favorite postcards. Why was I so resistant to upgrading the recycled plastic lids? I have no idea. Because I'm already converted to that upgrade and thinking of making a few for some of my friends who do a lot of portable handwork. The smaller lids would tuck easily into any sort of sewing pouch or basket. On a table top, they stack well so that maximum workspace can be maintained.
Once I had the beading mat cut and glued into place, I thought about how slippery the little trays can be when they're balanced on the edge of a couch or chair arm. I decided to change that a bit by covering the undersides with quilter's cotton. It wasn't hard to find a scrap for that purpose. All I had to do was reach down and pluck something from the bin. I used all-purpose craft glue for both the front and back of the lids. 
This was a quick and easy project. The only time consuming part was waiting for the glue to dry. By the early evening, I was able to re-unite the trays with the beads they had formerly contained. Now the beads don't have the same tendency to go flying every which way if I don't get them speared just-right with the needle. The trays' undersides aren't nearly as slippery, either. Plus I had the chance to bask in the warm glow that always comes from a simple crafting project that yields a big result.
P.S. I was impatient to get these pictures taken, so I didn't wait for the glue to dry on the sherbet lid. Now that it has, the distracting white lines from the glue are no longer visible. If I hadn't had the "official" beading mat to work with, I think a scrap of cotton batting would work just as well, although I'm not sure it would be nearly as durable. What I used is some kinda space-aged stuff that has probably been to the moon and who knows where else.
When I dumped fabric all over the floor last week, one of the things I wanted to find was this rough-basted elephant applique. There's a story behind it that seems better suited to sharing once I've stitched some of this creature's transformation process into being. On the other hand, the story* winds up explaining why such process is especially meaningful for me. For the past two days it's been making me incredibly happy that I finally found the elephant...while I was deconstructing-the-deconstruction of fiber chaos and putting everything back in relatively tidy fashion! I put off doing that in part because I felt so badly that this elephant had apparently escaped. On the upside, that means I got extra-happy when it finally showed itself.
*This little friend holds potent significance that belies its humble appearance. He was originally created to help my toddler son understand every step of applique. This emerged as a subject of pressing curiosity for him. At the time, he wasn't talking yet (my kid - the elephant spoke to me plenty despite losing him in the maw of endless scraps) but he had a very eloquent and endearing set of hand motions he would make to convey his need to grasp EVERY STEP (lots of emphatic hand slicing moving in a organized successive fashion with an equally emphatic square-drawing motion enclosing all the slices...) of a process.
For other moms who like stories about children and their development, you might enjoy scrolling to the P.S. section of this post for more details on Tony's late verbalization and how/when he finally chose to express himself through words. The point is I remember his intense devotion to following the process of making the template, tracing it on the fabric, cutting it out and basting it. And then the joyous incredulity on his face when the red flowered elephant at last presented itself for inspection! That's a very nice memory for a simple little piece of fabric to hold; this creature has definitely earned itself a beautiful pair of wings once I figure out how they need/want to be made.
If you enlarge this picture you will see a host of elephant beads that have been given magical wings and tails so they can safely leave their magical underground barracks. See ... another reason I dumped scraps all over the floor is because I wanted to get something manifested of an idea that's been intriguing me for more than a year. This relates to scroll making and the process of articulating our inner myths and legends in that particular format.
As usual I had fairly clearcut ideas of what I wanted to accomplish - the ideas are never the hard part for me. It's the mechanics of execution and everybody's favorite bugaboo: Enough Time Or Lack Thereof. Have been so focused on these things as well as the planned theme that it caught me off guard to "suddenly" start working in a very quick and totally organic manner. Although I love elephants dearly I hadn't planned to tell a story about them. I had only hoped to make a single flying elephant from the red calico piece at the top of this post. Now the story is brewing and I'm enjoying sorting out what gets told with words and what is told by images and color.
Have had these elephant beads for awhile. They keep migrating to the work table because I love looking at them so much and wondering how I will use them. The one on the left needs a bit of reconstructive tail surgery but other than that I like the way they came out. Now I am thinking about other tiny elephants that are stitched or painted. I've stopped being surprised by the unexpected development and am now actively embracing all I can learn about scroll making that will help me get to the more substantive part of my intended journey. In the meantime, I can stop feeding myself "I should really's" that relate to making a sample scroll. 
I'm going for a kind of Peter Max/Yellow Submarine type feel. The tails and wings are stitched from some space dyed Stef Francis silk. Can I just rave about the thread for a moment? I got some when I ordered the Romanian thread featured in today's Nichobella post. It was on sale and I was curious about how it differed from the flamed silk thread that has brought me so much enjoyment. For one very obvious thing it's a consistent width and that makes it very useful for satin stitch, knots etc. For another it has that lovely silken luminosity that's just so joy inducing. So I believe I see more of this stuff in my future because the ultimate plan is to create an all-silk scroll with a very special theme ...
Took an extra long lunch hour so I could complete this part of the project. I still have to finish the borders but I'd also like a day or two to think/plan exactly what I want. For now I'm going to jump back to the piece that relates to the color portion of the Sumptuous Surface class material. Already posted at nichobella today (talk about color!!) so I thought I'd share my completed effort as the post for this blog. You can read about the original inception for this project right here.
I'm really grateful to Greg for the 'turtle egg' beads, and to Jude for the beautiful olive tree linen sample. It was wonderful to have these things as an inspirational and linear jump off. If you'd like to look at the details you can follow the sidebar Flickr link of this image and enlarge the image to its original (reduced) size. I learned so much in the making of this piece and also processed a great deal that relates to the grandmothers/legacy backstory. Below is an old polaroid from one of many (MANY!) impromptu 'celebration parties' that I attended in my childhood and early adolescence. It features three of the women who were heavily influential in my life and to the general inspiration for this piece. My "real" maternal grandmother is all the way on the right holding the cake with me.
Eta: I am not sure this particular party related to either my birthday or hers. Ms. Lillian, all the way on the left, was very fond of rescuing cakes from the bakery that hadn't been claimed. She felt there was no reason for somebody's birthday cake to go to waste and so they rarely did. And she definitely insisted on the "Ms" title as soon as it became an option - loving her husband no less devotedly for it.
Yesterday afternoon's time at the work table was rewarding on a number of levels. I've posted about one part of that over at nichobella. Today I plan to stitch again and - of course - think more as well. Thus the post title is relevant on a number of levels.
At nichobella I made a personal revelation that may shock some people reading here because I so frequently appear to be tolerant of an ongoing Tendency to Whine. In larger truth I work very hard, and quite consciously, to push myself beyond the reflexive (and considerable) distaste I have for this particular form of self-expression. In fact I dislike it so much that the inner recoil factor often obscures (or at least blurs the edges) of what's actually being said. That reality fits in quite well with the ongoing baby-bathwater theme that has been highlighted in so many ongoing conversations with a variety of folks - some of whom do indeed whine with a great deal of conviction and enjoyment. Mercifully enough for the upside of my personal growth curve, many folks don't. I suppose it all averages out in the end. At an interim stage, I'm thankful for buddhist practices that allow me to move beyond my irritation factor. It's impossible to embody those practices and not feel authentic compassion. Heh. Some days, I even feel it for myself during times when the whining comin' at me seems particular irrepressible.
Last night I had a convo with somebody who virtually never whines. We were discussing this garden variety human indulgence in terms of its toxicity and pollutant factor. I was doing most of the talking - bringing myself perilously close to the comical hypocrisy of whining-about-whining. Fortunately (?) my basic temperament and undeniable flare for sarcasm made it more of a rage-rant than a wah-wah-wah session.
Sarcasm, by the way, is another very common human indulgence which is also quite toxic for those who don't appreciate it. It can be as assaulting and soul-erosive for them as whining is for me. I realize this as cogently as I do because my husband and son made me aware of it and I chose to recalibrate to the very best of my abilities. Readers can see (unless of course they are too preoccupied mentally weighing in on where they stand on the matter of whining and/or sarcasm ...) where these expressive choices very much impact and perhaps outright define the quality of our time together - and the corresponding quality of subsequent time spent roaming around in our own mind.
My friend from last night's convo feels there is a direct relationship between how we communicate and how we relate to time in general. Those who are prone to extremely passive soul-killing and/or mindless activities are also prone to similar styles of self-expression. I'd never made that type of connection. Now I'll need to figure out how to fold-in the awareness without getting stuck in a quagmire of something that I consider to be one of my deepest personal flaws: emotionally invested value judgments.
This all relates quit tangibly to the Grandmothers/Legacy theme because the elderly women of my childhood fell into two distinct categories: those who taught me by ongoing example what emotionally invested value judgements were really all about and those who showed by equal example what a liberation it is to choose a lifestyle relatively free of such things. Balancing the inner polarity has become a central theme in my current life. My quality-of-time is directly impacted by whether I choose the way of personal liberation from my short suits.
For me that liberation never comes from excuses or rationalizations. I ought to be very clear on that given how frequently I've fallen into the trap of presuming there actually are any excuses or rationalizations that can hold their own weight for more than a few moments worth of consciousness. I asked my Friend with All the Answers (at least yesterday ...) how those of us whose path of service involves a role of leadership can effectively program/protect ourselves when we're obliged to immerse in so many other peoples' reality so much of the time.
He thought perhaps we don't do such things - at least not as a general rule or in ways that are authentic enough to prevent internalized resentment and overt dis-ease. This pushed my thinking back to the elderly women of my childhood. I know what I remember of them and what they meant for me but do I really have the slightest clue of what was going on for any of them on the inside? Surely, even the sunniest of influence had a few internalized storm clouds and a demon or two that required ongoing taming.
So perhaps I'm not as far behind the personal growth 8-ball as I often feel. This is a startling possibility that will hopefully not activate my other gigantic personal failing of arrogance. When I first thought of that I also thought of a Grandmother from more recent times. We shared many interests and a rather similar cultural/societal skew. Thus we could indulge in some fabulous bitch sessions. We also shared a natal Leo moon and progressed sun. And so we sometimes indulged in shouting-out the demon of arrogance via informal ceremony. I think of these quite fondly as Boasting Bashes. In true coyote form we mocked ourselves through embodying that which is most mock-able.
As I wrote those words I thought about how concretely I still miss her and how much I wish I could share the recent insights and Grandmothers/Legacy piece with her. I further thought that she was actually part of the piece in a very tangible way. I got up, moved to my business & communication altar, and removed a small medicine making talisman she gifted to me shortly before her death. I went to my work table and arranged it tenderly on some bare ground cloth. As I stepped back I could feel the spirit of her own satisfaction blending with my own. I felt her dancing, whirling, boasting, moaning, bitching and birthing. And I smiled hugely through my tears.
Wow. If this were a kvetch-oriented blog, the morning's various snafus and weird inconsistencies would hold enough material for a couple of posts! Nonetheless there were some happy moments and I was pleased to find them waiting for me, all green and glowing.
Look at all the fresh & radiant growth on the Strawberry Guava. I am still hoping I may see some flowers this year - people who have experience growing this plant 'in captivity' keep insisting it's not beyond possibility. Other exotics are growing their flower buds nicely; they really do enjoy their summer home in the main bed.
Asters blooming up a storm at the heart of the main bed. Impossible not to smile and feel a bit lighter inside, just looking at them. Plus, there was an interesting/unusual upside to walking to the post office two different times. This guy is in town and I got to see him twice. I wasn't previously aware of him and his not-so-little project. Disappointed that his website doesn't appear to be up and running any longer. Too shy to go back and talk to him directly. All extroverted aspects need to be trained on SLI related biz and outreach efforts.
On that level of reality, there's quite a bit to be done before the post office closes on Saturday morning. So it seems as ironic as it is appropriate that I'm working concurrently on a design process that celebrates slow motion. What does this mean? I refuse to stress out about my level of productivity simply because that is what I usually do! I've been sorting the work related tasks into groups; when I finish a batch or two, I move back to the sewing table and work on my class project until I feel balanced and less 'at risk' energetically. At this point I have all three turtle shapes outlined in a rough sort of way. Now I need to fine-tune the details of the shapes - make the little turtle on the bottom look less like a flying squirrel, etc.
The more I look at it the more I think I will pick it out and try again. On the other hand, I really do like the way the basic outlines hold a slight resemblance to naive art style ghosts or disembodied spirits. I am glad of the challenge this presents (to punch-out the turtle-ness of the shapes, one way or another) because it gives my brain something to do that is actually problem-solving in nature and not just spinning wheels over a relatively mundane level of difficulty. I'm planning to add extender strips to the piece so that it will fit in my smallest Q-snap frame in a way that lets me see the whole piece with-in the hoop.
Our rhodies will be peaking this weekend. This particular bush is over sixty years old. It's quite a bit taller than I am. Throughout this past winter I became increasingly aware of how much the local bird population depends on these branches for eating privacy and wind shelter.
Parts of the bush are diseased and parts are outright dead. I've noticed this condition on many local rhodies but I haven't tracked down any concrete information yet. This morning's garden tour was long and distracting. I interrupted myself many times to perform a quick task, etc. I knew it would be too hot by midday. Also the air is thick with cottonwood seedpuffs. When I walked to the post office, it was like a surreal snowstorm. My garden tasks are being performed one or two at a time. In fact, that's how I'm getting most things done these days - one simple step at a time.
I have been slow to acquire new plants for the garden but one exception is some basic culinary herbs. Gotta have them and so I'll be planting the basil and parsley six packs early next week. I've gotten a few other must-have additions so stay tuned for the GTS post and more updates next week. Here in the workroom, I've come to a time-out point with my first bjp page. I need to save my weekend's eyesight for other fine detail works in progress, like Solar Return!
sometime between now and Sunday night I'll be adding a post at nichobella...
This colony of Sweet Rocket is self-seeded. I was pleased by how many tall abundant flower heads emerged a few weeks ago. Their scent is mixing beautifully with the angelica flowers and a later flush of sweet woodruff.
Wanted to share some images of an in-progress nature related to the garden and my first BJP creation. Also thought I'd give a brief reminder concerning the times of month when I unplug from technology and internet contact.
This image shows the part of the garden that matches up with my writing about 'the celandine walkway'. As far as unplugging is concerned, some readers may recall that I began this practice back in January. It was originally intended as a time when I re-committed my attachment to mother earth by treading extra softly upon her. Matching up these times with the key phases of the lunar cycle seemed extra meaningful to me. Of course, this kind of synchronization also insures that I receive greater amounts of rejuvenation and introspective recalibration time every month. I also find that I'm somewhat less dependent upon (and/or reflexive in my use of) technology the rest of the time. I think this is important because, among other things, technology is inherently impersonal. We grow numb to the vibrational bombardment our computers emanate and are generally so used to this we don't realize what an energy drain it can become until we unplug, in whatever capacity and for whatever assortment of conscious intentions.
Last week, somebody inquiring about SLI long distance mentoring/study possibilities, took very strong/disparaging exception to the practice. The force of their objection caught me off-guard. I realize they didn't know the derivation and intention of the practice but I find myself seriously doubting if that info would have made a difference in their response to it. It had occurred to me that this habit might be viewed as odd or pehaps even extreme but I hadn't thought of it as an offensive choice on my part ... Perhaps in the future I will have to be more forthcoming about my reason(s) for the practice; that seems a bit like an ego-trumpet to me but perhaps it's necessary for ultimate clarity's sake. 
Yesterday I pondered what strange creatures we humans can be; pondered as I worked here and there at a variety of garden chores. Jim helped me get most of the exotics outside. This desk area is so spacious now although we still have to detach the allamanda from an assortment of blind pulls, etc. And this morning my first official act of the day was that of taking the papyrus out of the upstairs bathroom and into the garden. Last evening I prepared this beauty's permanent outdoor home but for now she's lurking more at the edges of things; getting used to sunlight and air without the filter of windows, walls, and screens.
Yesterday I cut back all the violets at the front of the main bed. This is where the papyrus will live in a shallow terracotta 'pond'. We had rainstorms last night and, so far, it's a bit overcast today. This will be good weather to complete more of my seed-sowing tasks. The storm patterns have been slowing me down a bit. WOW is it green outside!!
As you can see, this journal page is very much in-progress. My current goal is the placement of 50 beads. I have 8 more to place and sew. I will then do a little bt of fabric coloring with my neocolor crayons and then scatter (I think) delicas and tanzanite chips as well as some embroidery with variegated perle cotton. Originally, I was thinking of couching the strung tanzanite in two abstract snake shapes. But I think that will be too heavy in feel and execution. Below is the rough layout that led me to that conclusion. Maybe I need to construct the abstract snakes from delicas and separate chips? There is still a lot to be decided and a few steps of work before the decision is a mandatory part of overall process ...
My plan is to create embellished pockets on the back of the pages. I feel a need for pockets because I want to include something written, as so much of 'journaling' involves words and word-based meaning for me. I am growing more certain that I want to arrange the separate 7 inch squares in a grid for wall display. I may not put the pages in sequential order; in fact I think I'd prefer not to do that unless it's really what looks best as a finished unit. Hope everybody's had a relaxing and satisfying holiday weekend...Seeya with a new post on Thursday!
