goodbye to all that

so mainly I am coming into a fresh calendar year with the intention of looking through my personal viewing lens and prisms; I want to look at what is familiar in an unfamilar way.  This is an important yearly ritual for me that always takes a unique form.  For the past four or five days I've been spending the lion's share of my time and attention in the study-oh.   It's a long and largely uninteresting story how this change and shifting view has come about.  What matters is The Now.  N-O-W is very important to any creative equation.  NOW is what makes our individual flare something that might be translated.  It might mean something else through a different lens.  But the eyes that see give root to hearts that remember.

As winter progresses a lot of life's force and sustenance is on lockdown.  But, as someone with a natal sun mercury and venus is the cardinal water sign, I have always found it helpful to keep a deep oceanic altar space.  This gives me a sense of vitality that moves from a deeper source that the frozen ground and bare tree branches.  As winter's sunlight strengthens one day at a time it seems possible to say, with gentle certainty:  goodbye to all that.

goodbye to the order from chaos again & again.  goodbye to sorting and re-sorting.  Resorting to all manner of creative wiles in an ongoing effort to make sense of our species.  Goodbye to all that.

All of this clutter now dispensed with dispersed stored recycled repurposed.  Goodbye.  And if you love a perfectly worded sentence and truly evocative writing Joan Didion said it first and best, I think.

Goodbye.  To all that.

Just past the solstice it caught me unaware to realize we have lived here long enough for the study-oh to need a proper clearing out.  This need was compounded by the shifting piles of things I hadn't properly situated or logically organized since first moving in.  In another day or so I should be ready to understand that beautiful flip when goodbye says HELLO.

Comments

[cindy]

Acey, I am still thinking about this...

[serena]

i know it says no comments on the next post, but underneath, because this feels a little like a place to say it,i wanted to write regardless

my last remaining grandmother had a stroke i found out today. we don't know anything yet.

you know like you, i go back and forth about being present and wanting my life to be more connected and less electronic.

i don't know what this means. maybe it is time to explode it all and retreat back to letters and fabric bags and drawings to and from friends far

and sit and sews and coffees with friends near and forcing myself however difficult to break down all excuses to just

get out there
before there's no more there to get out to.

thinking of you during your lunar rest.

[Karoda]

i always find myself nodding "yes, yes" when I'm reading your thoughts here. this season is not my best me and specifically this season, grace has been strained, but faith remains...hangeth in!